1 Gaston, spoken
2 Who does she think she is?
3 That girl has tangled with the wrong man!
4 Lefou, spoken
5 Darn right!
6 Gaston, spoken
7 No one says "no" to Gaston!
8 Dismissed! Rejected!
9 Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear!
10 Lefou, spoken
11 More beer?
12 Gaston, spoken
13 What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced
14 Lefou, spoken
15 Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together
16 Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
17 Looking so down in the dumps
18 Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
19 Even when taking your lumps
20 There's no man in town as admired as you
21 You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
22 Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
23 And it's not very hard to see why
24 No one's slick as Gaston
25 No one's quick as Gaston
26 No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
27 For there's no man in town half as manly
28 Perfect, a pure paragon!
29 You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
30 And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
31 Lefou & Chorus
32 No one's been like Gaston
33 A king pin like Gaston
34 Lefou
35 No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
36 Gaston
37 As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
38 Chorus
39 My what a guy, that Gaston!
40 Give five "hurrahs!"
41 Give twelve "hip-hips!"
42 Lefou
43 Gaston is the best
44 And the rest is all drips
45 Chorus
46 No one fights like Gaston
47 Douses lights like Gaston
48 Lefou
49 In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
50 Bimbettes
51 For there's no one as burly and brawny
52 Gaston
53 As you see, I've got biceps to spare
54 Lefou
55 Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
56 Gaston
57 That's right!
58 And every last inch of me's covered with hair
59 Chorus
60 No one hits like Gaston
61 Matches wits like Gaston
62 Lefou
63 In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston
64 Gaston
65 I'm especially good at expectorating
66 Ptooie!
67 Chorus
68 Ten points for Gaston!
69 Gaston
70 When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
71 Ev'ry morning to help me get large
72 And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
73 So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
74 Chorus
75 Oh, ahhh, wow!
76 My what a guy, that Gaston!
77 No one shoots like Gaston
78 Makes those beauts like Gaston
79 Lefou
80 Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
81 Gaston
82 I use antlers in all of my decorating
83 Chorus
84 My what a guy
85 Gaston!